kedlaya'sblog

some feelings can never be expressed in words. eventually everything seem irritating. you will be annoyed and irritated with all the things and people. you don’t feel like speaking, socializing even with the people you love.There might be few people and things that have gone bad,but u cant pick a person or a situation and say i blame you.you eventually fall sick all of sudden.

your emotions are so messed up that u you feel like you are losing yourself day by day. you will not laugh at the things which once made u laugh until your belly hurts. you don’t feel happy with the people who’s presence meant so much in life.you don’t smile the way you use to smile. you feel like some part of you is missing somewhere ,and feel like you just kind of been existing and you don’t know really what to feel.

I know it might be hard and draining and almost unbearable, but believe me,I know. but I also know that you are stronger than you will ever admit. you are only met with obstacles you have the capability of conquering.because need to Go Through Things to Grow Through Things.

A gentle reminder for the people who feel the same right now. you are not worthless if you lack in motivation. you are not worthless if your depression makes it hard to getup and mingle with people and complete tasks.some days all you can do is simply exist.The sun still shines and music still plays ,even the blind and deaf don’t see/hear it. so it’s okay to feel what you feel.YOU STILL MATTER.<3

-Dyuthi kedlaya..

Hey there ! So the last time I posted was in February :D. I hope you are doing good. I hope someone other than me still knows this blog exists. Here’s a hoping.

A lot has happened since I last posted. I did with my last semester papers , which means I officially completed my ug degree in the city called Chennai, even though I am not sure how I got there and stayed for 3 damn years.

2015 !!! Done with my +2 and shifted to Chennai with 1000+ level of excitement and over expectation about new city, new people, new home, New college and new Life. Started to the new city in the month of April, reached Chennai central railway station around 5.30am. everywhere jailaitha’s posters , smell from drainage water and got down from bus after traveling for 30 mins. mum literally made me walk for 1km to reach one of our relations home to freshup. Had our breakfast and started to our new house which was literally filled with 50+ boxes of goods. Mum left to work and I was all alone and I dint have any option rather than clearing out the boxes and setting them up. And yeah done with the first day with a big flop story.

First day of college, I am not even going to lie, college has been pretty much slap to the face whilst I was standing on the cliff. Tamil ! Everywhere. Felt like a different animal left in the group of same. It was soo brutal. I was pretty much sitting on the bench like a headless chicken and being anti-social pig , I was not even sure how I am gonna communicate with these people either. I don’t even know how to get back home. All that kept running in my head over and over.I was just thinking about how I wanted nothing more than to come back to my hometownand get back to my normal Life. Not even a day had passed and I was already exhausted both physically and mentally. To be honest, I was crying myself to sleep pretty much.oh yeah! So done with the Second flop story.

But who cares , you know ! First impressions might not be a best impression sometimes , and that’s okay. Day by Day eventually I started to find happiness in little things.. I found happiness in speaking Bala Bala Tamil mixing all the known languages , I found happiness in climbing the train after it starts, I found happienss in not buying tickets in local train and not get caught with TC’s , I found happiness in comming home early to watch my favourite shows and nap until mum knocks the door , I found happiness to hear my guitar tunes ,I found happiness in running back to native during my vacation and spending quality time with friends and narrating all the flop stories.

Anyways the point is, sometimes shit happens, nobody’s life is perfectly fine ,in everybody’s life there comes a point where you’re about to breakdown and feels like giving up . But chill..! That’s completely fine. it’s always going to get better eventually, you learn something new everyday, you adopt to changing environment and if you stay on the right track, everything works out for you in the end.

THANK YOU 💝

* DYUTHI KEDLAYA*

Part2 : 

She was still sleeping, he just laid there thinking of what their future could look like. he could just imagine two of them getting married and having children, running around the house.

finally she woke up to the sound of her annoying alarm.’ what’s the time now?’.. ‘its 2pm and I am too hungry’ Tanush said. “hmm okay then I will get ready” she said while hiding and eating something from fridge. 

Tulip : ‘hey, what you eating there’ ? Trisha : nothing !                                   Tulip : you lier!!  It’s Ferrero Rocher                          right? Give me one now.       Trisha : but I have only one!                   Tulip : you already  ate two right!   Trisha : but! Nooo.. ‘I will give half not full’                is that okay?                               Tulip : hmm okay!                                    She cut it 1/4 and 3/4 with the knife, ate 3/4 part and gave him 1/4rth which had only crispy side and had no chocolate in it.

They left home and reached one of the famous restaurent in the city. while tulip was paying the bill, she felt something strange beside her. when she turned back she saw hundreads of puppies running towards her holding red roses in their mouth while the cutest among them walking towards her holding a ballon and a letter. she was shocked yet soo surprised. she took roses from all the puppies ,opened the letter holding that cutest puppy and it had written  ‘Can I call you “My Mamma”‘ ? she turned towards Tulip with the big smile on her face.he took something out from his pocket went on knees holding a diamond ring and said  ‘ And….can I call you ” My Wife”‘?… she went on knees and hugged him and said I love you tulip’ with the tears of joy.

Finally they brought the puppy home.         Tulip : Are you happy ??                    Trisha : I am soo happy, Thank you soo                       much my Love. This was the                           best day of my life.                 Tulip : I love you!!                                    Trisha : I love you too!!                  

Tulip left bombay that night.Next day Trisha called sobbing and said him that the puppy is no more and she doesn’t know the reason. after that day Tulip tried calling her several times, but her mobile was switched off. he even reached her place, but din’t find her there. Its been year’s and year’s ,he is still waiting…!!
Thank you,

                                    *Dyuthi kedlaya*

               

                

PART 1 🙂

            Doorbell rang. she opened the door with her swelled sleepy eyes. “Happy birthday babygirl ” he screemes holding bunch of red roses ,chocolates and a teddybear. she hugged him with tears, while he kissed her forehead.
      baby, you look tired !! he said by holding his palm on her face. yeah , whole night I was waiting for your call. she said by removing his hands from her face.okay I am sorry I thought of surprising you today So din’t wish you. ‘It’s okay tulip bhaiya’ she said by winking her eyes.

Tulip; A well matured Gentleman. who blessed with not only beautiful hazed eyes and curly hair, but he is also gifted with a golden voice. A well known software engineer who owns 2 companies. His father was from canada and mother was goan. His father had visited India on a buisness trip to size up the Indian market. while he was there , he had found a new buisness opportunity and had decided to settle down in Goa. eventually he had met tulip’s mother and they fell in love and married.

Trisha;  A crazy girl, who is bold and beautifull. she lives alone in a big city. daughter of a strict parents, who hated all her talent as a designer and thought that they were a waste of time. despite their opposition she got placed in a best university at bombay and shifted there with tulip’s support. she always dreamt of owning her own brand and being successfull in it.                                                        Tulip was the only Man who supported her both financially and mentally to overcome all circumferences and helped her to achieve half of her dream.

   I wanted to show you something she said rising her eyebrows. ‘is’t ,whats that ?’ tulip said. tanaaa, look at this dress she said with full of excitement. wow ,Thats too good he said even though he hates pink ;                                Is this looks silly?  yeah! she get exited for every little things in her life.New dress,new hairstyle, new facecream ,balloons, her new bobby pin literally everything. and her second happiness is showing him those things, where he should compliment those things even though he doesn’t like them. just for her smile.

      Let me prepare maggie, and you want coffee or tea she asked holding tea powder jar. ‘coffee’ he said eventhough he knew that she doesn’t know to prepare it. sorry coffee powder is empty.”anything is fine babygirl ,by the I will take you out for lunch, so please don’t prepare curd rice” he said by winking his eyes.         

   He plot himself on the cough and turned on the tv, she lied on him placing her head on his chest. run your fingers through my hairs and don’t stop until I fall alseep..okay? ‘yes mam’ he said by resting his his head on hers. after some minutes she started to feel her eyes getting heavier everytime she blinked until they were fully shut. tulip could hear her soft snores, he kissed on her forehead gently and switched off the tv and fell asleep.                  

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To be continued  …….
                           

                  THANK YOU,

                              *DYUTHI KEDLAYA*

Dyuthi ma, ini ennoda birthday so ennoda daughter ee shirt vaangi kuduta said >45 years old staff while opening the class door, with a bright smile on his face. wished him and thought to myself ‘ May be this is how happiness looks on a father’s face when his daughter/son buys him something on his/her own.

They say you need Money to be “Happy” . I strongly disagree this. may be Money is important but Money isn’t everything. If only food and new clothes makes you happy then this isn’t a post for you.

okay. So let me list out some my kind of happiness ,may be yours too…            

• Waking up on a sunday morning to the smell of petrichor (smell of mud after a rain)          
• Going home(native) and drinking grannys hand ka strong filtered Coffee.
• Meeting a long lost friend in a grocerry store and realising that nothing has changed.
• When a new born baby holds your hand with the smile on its face.
• Forehead kiss from your dad.
• Sleeping on Mamma’s lap after a big hectic day.
• controlling your laughter with your bestfriend but completly failing at it.
• Teasing your bestfriend with her crush’s name.
• Random compliments.
• That cool breeze while you are standing in the last step of bus.
• Dancing in heavy rain with the person you love.
• finding old gifts ,letters and slam books.
• Happy Tears on her eyes when you surpise her.
• long drive with loud music.
• A new haircut.
• when you don’t have to keep alarm for the next day.
• 2am deep talks with your bestfriend.
• Getting a dream job after soo many struggles.
• Tight hug after a big cry.
• Getting passed in a toughest paper.
• Making your parents happy.
• 12 am wishes on your birthday.
• Visiting new places and trying new food.
• Finding true Love.
• Getting discounts on your favourite novels.
• Finding money in your pocket.
• Fixing Ac remote or replacing bulb and acting as if you discovered them.
• Making someone laugh.
• gol gappa competition with your sister.
• Having long conversation with someone you care and haven’t spoken to in a while.
• When a random stranger gives you a genuine smile.
• Tryieng new recipe and creating something delicious.
• Petting a Dog.
• Drawing your friend’s face in the last page of your notebook during those boring periods.
• Finding a new song and playing it 100 times until everyone gets tired of it.
• Receiving flowers from someone you love.(girls high✋)
• Sitting at the beach and merging with the sound of waves.
• Watching Sunset.
• achieving your goals.

              And may be reading My blogs!! yes?No? okay whatever…and you know what Life is small may be too small, so cherish little things in life. because once its gone, you will realise these little things brings more happiness than your busy financial lifestyles. 

                   Thank you,       

                                           With love,

                                       *Dyuthi kedlaya*

The most likely asked question during New Years. what’s your resolution? even though we haven’t accomplished most of our 2k17 resolution.let us plan for 2k18

1. Learn Patience.

          Have patience in life.Never be hard on yourself.sometimes things doesn’t workout as you plan and that’s okay ! Don’t overreact in some of the situation which could be handled easily.worry only about those things which still matter after the decade and not about the things which don’t even matter in a year or two. and you don’t have to get upset with the people who has nothing to do with your Life. Surround yourself  only with those people who make you Happy.

2. Connect with more people.

         As far as I know I was indor most of the days in 2k17, which made me to be connected with only those people I knew in 2k16. So this year this shouldn’t be the Case. I need to get my ass out. and should connect with atleast 100 random people, compliment a random stranger and wanna drink coffee with that one person who sits alone in a coffeday.

And I want to connect with more positive energy this year , I need to get out of my ‘Comfort Zone’ . 

3. Learn New skills.

         As I am a bad singer and love guitar I opted to learn guitar tunes. so I need to learn to play  2 guitar tunes per week So that I could learn atleast 100 songs to the end of this year. If you are a good singer or a dancer you can continue it by implementing  it evryday.

Everyone has their own likes and dislikes.So it depends on you to opt something which makes your ‘Heart Happy’.

4. Learn a Language.

        Learn a new Language. Learning tamil was the only Resolution I’d completed in 2k17. and I am so proud of it. and it’s just because of the people around me, movies I used to watch , and those Tnagar sales man with whom I used to fight with.

And the truth is You will never learn a new language by those useless classes, just try to speak it even though You don’t understand what you are speaking and watch as much as movies without subtitles. don’t belive me? Just give a Try !

5. Earn pocket Money.

         If  you are a student, I seriously suggest this option, because this makes you super Happy. earning pocket money is not something that You should go to a parttime job and all ,it’s just that earn money may be by doing some sketches , art ,jewell and selling it or by asking commission with mom to bring  monthly grocery , or by doing dad’s head massage on sunday morning ! Ofcourse we all know we don’t spend our pocket money. It makes you earn more and spend less. 

In the end of the year you save a certain amount of money which makes you happy because you don’t have to beg money with dad for the dress you wanted to wear on new year’s evening, you can spend your own and buy whatever you need which makes a good start to 2k19.

6.Read something everyday.

    I won’t say that you should read your texts books everyday. it’s just that read , it might be a novel , a story book , or even  a poem or a motivational story on  internet . this will surely make a huge difference in your life .

Learning something everyday automatically makes your mind and life more productive .

7.Declutter everything.

       Declutter is something cleaning all unusable things , first declutter all your unfit and unusable cloths from your room. start to clean everything from one end to another . this makes room for new item and makes your room clean.

Next declutter all negative people and negative thought from your mind, and make place for new people and new experience. and learn from your mistakes so that you will never repeat it again.

8. Be kind. 

       Be kind. because you never know the depressed side of a  person who is cracking jokes and making others laugh. being kind is something that one must follow in their life . 

everyone has their own darkest sides , if you can’t help them atleast be kind .

9. Make yourself a priority.

    Make your own damn self a Priority. do not giveup on yourself when something goes wrong .don’t get upset on yourself when someone din’t see your worth. Love youself even though you sleep 24/7 , get zero grades in exams , don’t eat healthy.

you just have one life ,instead of valueing others, and giving more importance to them, and completly changing yourself for others. Its better to Love yourself  for what You Are rather than what others wanted you to be.

10. Listen.

      Listen . This year I need to listen to people, I think every person need somebody who would listen to them when they are happy or sad.  “A good Listener ” it’s something that every individual need in their Life to feel that they have somebody in their life to listen and support them. and if you have them Never let them go.

And this year I need to listen more, about people’s happy and sad stories, about their day at farewell , or their intrests etc  and yeah! this year if you want a good listener ‘I am always here’.

11. Travel and make memories.

          I need to travel more places this year.I need to experience new things ,eat different types of food, take lots of pictures ,meet new people. 

So this year lets just travel more than last year , and make lots of memories.

12. plan and execute.

       Make a to do-list every morning and try to execute it. In the begining it might be little difficult but try to follow it everyday , as days goes this will turn into weekly to-do list, monthly to-do list and than yearly. this transformation makes your life more productive and helps you to reach your goal easily.

So if you Plan Something, Execute it. 
These are some of my resolutions for 2k18, and whats your’s !!!  

Thank you,

                                            with Love,                                                        * Dyuthi kedlaya*